Historically when I cannot muster enough internal motivation for something, I have tended to just let an idea go. “If it was meant to be, it would flow.” There is absolutely some truth to this, but what this mentality also does is create a lot of pressure on 1. the outcome to be just right, and 2. for all the right pre-requisites to be in place in order to move (internally and externally). I don’t have to tell you how difficult it is to wait for that “perfect” moment for that “perfect” expression…

Sometimes you just have to show up. Listen to what is stirring today and say yes. Today, it was writing. My inspiration comes in spirals and when I try and control the process too much, it flatlines. I lose the plot. So, lately, I have been practicing listening and following through. Listening and following through. Allowing the dedication to reveal the interesting bits. Freedom with fences as my mentor calls it.

I don’t know the first time I saw a zine. But I remember how I felt when my world collided with one. Like I was being pulled into this raw, analog, work-in-progress, unfinished experience of life. It was one of the most honest things I had seen.

At dusk the forest has many secrets to tell. Slowly unfolding into the darkness of night, waiting for the rain of the moon to wash over me I sit waiting for my life to begin again…